I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So. Much. Porn.
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