dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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