38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
