i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
