Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
