okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
