I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
