She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
