are you still at the devil's house?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
