i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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