You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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