I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
