Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
