Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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