omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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