we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
