i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
