i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
