would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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