So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
