Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
