You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
