Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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