I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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