I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize