your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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