those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
40s are totally the cure
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize