the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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