big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
