We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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