Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
