i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
