Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
