I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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