brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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