Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
