There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
