Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Help. Why am I so naked?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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