its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
