When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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