he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
