I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
