oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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