yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
