i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
