google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She bit a glass in half.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
