he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
