I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
