So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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