You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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