The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
