Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
