thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize