I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
