I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
high people should be assigned attendants
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
