I think my fart just growled at me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
