How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
