he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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