I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
