It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
