i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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