Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
