So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
