I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
