So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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