I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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