ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
