It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
