dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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