we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think my mom watched the whole time
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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