I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
